76 Thoughts I had While Watching the “Fallout 76” E3 Presentation

fallout 76

76 Thoughts I had While Watching the Fallout 76 E3 2018 Trailer

“What in God’s name is that flying thing?!”


Bethesda, you beautiful bastards, you’ve made my life worth living again.

As a true gamer grill, I’d be remiss if I wasn’t familiar with the famed Fallout franchise of video games. I knew of them long before I ever played one; my ex boyfriend was actually a fan and tried to get me in to the games after seeing how obsessed I was with playing my favorite RPG of all time, Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning.

I tried Fallout: New Vegas once before I became a fan, and my first impressions of it were not good. I did not like how difficult the game seemed to be, the gunplay mechanics were nothing like I had ever experienced before and I didn’t take well to it. But I told him from the first time I ever watched him play the game for a bit, I was hooked on the lore.

If you aren’t a gamer or if you’ve never heard of the Fallout series, here’s a teeny, tiny buffer on it: Set in a 1950s-style post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland, you always have to play as various characters traipsing around said Wasteland, completing quests for, killing, or trying to avoid being killed by the various (human and nightmarish creature) inhabitants of this lawless, ruthless, dangerous world.

Now that is an extremely summarized bastardization of the general plot and setting of the game, but we simply don’t have time here. The Fallout universe has been in existence for decades now and has garnered legions of fans, myself having only been a fan for barely a year now. Its newest installment, Fallout 76, has caused a veritable wave of hype and speculation online, as droves of fans have been chomping at the bit for years since the 2015 release of Fallout 4 to see what happens next in the Wasteland.

Well imagine my and practically everyone’s surprise when it is heavily speculated and then confirmed that the next game, this Fallout 76, will take us to a time and Wasteland we as players and Fallout fans have never seen before.

You see, as the previous Fallout games have taken place several decades or hundreds of years after the world was wracked by nuclear destruction and effectively ended, after the various parts of the country and the Wasteland have had generations upon generations to adjust and essentially build some type of established communities and lifestyles, (however doomed or depraved many of them tend to be), this newest game sees us as players adventuring out into the Wasteland a mere 20 years after the world ended. Not over 200 years later, like the last game. Twenty.

Two decades. If the US and North Korea fired on each other tomorrow and the world ended, what would it look like in twenty years outside your bedroom window?

Probably not nearly as cool as this world in Fallout 76 is gonna look, that’s for sure. We all know real life isn’t as awesome as video games, but that’s why we have video games. To experience these fantasy realms, (or, 1950s-style nuclear apocalypse realms), even if just on a screen.

But enough about that. Hopefully you’re either familiar enough with the subject or have left by now to go do a Google search to figure out what the fuck I’ve been babbling about. Either way, on to the listicle of the day: 76 Thoughts that Ran Through my Brain While Jumping up and Down in my Seat Watching the Fallout 76 E3 Presentation. (No, there’s no possible way to shorten that, deal with it.)

Watch along to get the full gist of what I’m thinking and feeling! You can find the full trailer on YouTube pretty easily.

  1. Ah there goes that pretty purple-blue-yellow “Please Stand By” screen. The source of so much speculation within the fan base. Finally, your secrets shall be revealed!
  2. Personally, I’ve just been wracking my brain for ways to make these the new “it” colors to wear #leftthehouse #setthetrend
  3. The Fallout 76 logo! Somehow I find it bolder, more beautiful than the ones before it.
  4. Is that just me?
  5. “Hey where are the other 70 games kekkekekekeke”
  6. Yeah I know everyone’s made that joke by now.
  7. FOUR. TIMES. THE SIZE. AS FALLOUT 4?!
  8. Set in the hills of West Virginia, just like we all pretty much already figured by now.
  9. This Wasteland is gonna be like no other Wasteland we’ve ever adventured.
  10. Only 20 years after the bombs fell!
  11. Wait does that make some of us “pre-war”? It has to, right? Unless we are only allowed to play as Vault Dwellers who were born in the vault during the 20 year period it was closed. So yeah. Some of us have to be pre-war. Am I the only one FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS?!
  12. But imagine being 20 years old when the bombs fell, living in Vault 76 ’til you’re 40, then venturing out into the ruined country, the Wasteland, and continuing your life from there.
  13. This is so amazingly ambitious and wonderful to me. It’s blowing my mind. This is gonna be an entire world filled with things we’ve never seen before.
  14. Do we as a people even deserve this. Fallout 4 was yuge and now 76 is gonna be 4 times yuger. YUGE.
  15. Give it to me. Yessss. Gimme that trailer. Give it to me now!
  16. Even I can tell that’s some vintage ass Power Armor.
  17. Ahh… The sweet, sweet sound of emergency sirens.
  18. I feel your pain, solider boy. That’s me after I’ve eaten too many tacos.
  19. Okay I love country music now.
  20. Vault 76 looks just like the vaults in Fallout 4? The loot seems to look exactly the same, the style overall seems to be the same as Fallout 4 and I am digging it.
  21. That is one janky looking Pip boi.
  22. Am I just now realizing the yellow accents on the vault suits are actually more of a metallic gold?
  23. Is that a re-design? Specifically tailored for Vault 76? Can I get my hands on one?
  24. Because I am here for itttt.
  25. I think the Vault 76 suits are so stylish. Would wear, daily.
  26. *sings along enthusiastically* “Almost Heaven… West Virginiiiaaaa…”
  27. Okay this is my wedding song.
  28. Holy SHIT everything looks beautiful! I was one of the people who loved the beauty in nature found in Fallout 4. I thought the weather was not only lovely to look at but also realistic.
  29. I’m so glad we’re getting treeees and grass in this one!
  30. That fog though.
  31. Weather is going to be awesome in Fallout 76. The settings will be gorgeous. The back drops shall be things of pure beauty. I’m calling it.
  32. Is that a raider? A settlement guard? HUUUUUUHN.
  33. There are gonna be so. MANY. Buildings and locations to discover. Oh my god.
  34. I’m definitely going to sink at least 76 hours into this game.
  35. Kekekekekekeke how many times has that joke been made?
  36. But seriously it’s 4 times the size of Fallout 4, which I’ve only put, like, 80 hours into, plus it is single player AND multiplayer like COME ON.
  37. Wait, online multiplayer has been confirmed, right?
  38. Well either way, I don’t care. I’ll play the shit out of it either way. While I am originally a part of the single player master race, I am also newly into the whole online multiplayer scene and truly digging it.
  39. That being said, go ahead and make an online Fallout game like I won’t waste my entire life playing it in a dark room subsisting solely off of Munchos potato chips and Mountain Dew Kickstart in Mango Lime or Black Cherry. Try me.
  40. Look at this abandoned neighborhood. I bet my left ass cheek we’ll be able to visit our pre-war home or what’s left of it.
  41. Oh man there’s Soldier Boy, that’s sad.
  42. Like how can you be beautiful, vast mountains and woodland but still clearly have tons of locations and buildings to discover?! YOU’RE TOO GOOD TO US, FALLOUT 76!
  43. Ooh look at this ruined neighborhood, this’ll be fun to explore, that creepy rundown church–what in God’s name is that thing?! 
  44. That’s gotta be this game’s version of Super Mutants or something, right?
  45. Whatever that God forsaken monstrosity is, it looks tough.
  46. That thing is gonna pack a whallop.
  47. Yep, we’re gonna get to visit our old ‘hood.
  48. I just cannot get over how fucking gorgeous this game looks.
  49. Like it’s clearly very similar to Fallout 4 in style but somehow it’s even better.
  50. This is gonna be atmospheric as shit.
  51. LOOK AT THAT OLD COUNTRY BARN WITH A PLANE AND NUKA COLA AND AHHHH
  52. Let me loose, I wanna go exploooooore!
  53. What in tarnation is that, a fucking crashed space station?
  54. I call dibs on that as my player home, everyone else can pick somewhere else.
  55. “Vault-Tec celebrates 300 years of America” yeah I bet you do, ya pricks.
  56. Speaking of which, I can’t be the only one who finds Vault-Tec the most interesting, mysterious, enigmatic, shadowy, terribly interesting aspects of the entire Fallout universe, right?
  57. I mean, no one knows for sure where they are after the war. Are we gonna find out more about Vault-Tec in this game? PL0X?!?!
  58. Settlers, Vault Dwellers…
  59. Yeah pick up that Power Armor smart guy. You’re gonna need it.
  60. WOW so many different locations. Were those caverns? A partially collapsed facility?
  61. Miner guy, huh? I’m sensing a class system thang going on here.
  62. What in God’s name is that thing?! 
  63. Look’s like if you turned a Mirelurk inside out, tickled its nuts, and starved it for a week.
  64. What I mean to say is, that thing looks ugly, and mean. I keep going back to try to make out what it is, some kind of abomination for sure. Is that a shell? Insect-like feet? Score.
  65. Ooh look at that giant piece of machinery. They are definitely going for a larger-than-life approach here. We better be able to explore every square inch of this world or so help me…
  66. Hm that looked like a city area. Reminded me of Diamond City but it flashed by so damn fast I couldn’t see. Ah well, time to rewind the same few split seconds over and over again for a few minutes.
  67. WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT IS THAT FLYING MONSTROSITY?!?!
  68. It looks humongous. It looks like it might run on all fours once it lands. Its head looked like a rat’s head to me. Alright time to rewind and squint for 5 minutes, BRB.
  69. Was that a Deathclaw-shaped head? Can’t tell if those are horns or ears. IF THAT’S A GIANT FLYING DEATHCLAW, I’M DEAD.
  70. Have there been flying Deathclaws before? I’m so spacing. 2 lazy 2 Google.
  71. Either way, you’re gonna need a bigger minigun, lad.
  72. Aww, Vault-Tec University. Maybe?
  73. Ooh somebody’s got a nice house and a nice yard and nice robots.
  74. As usual, I probably will mostly forgo Power Armor in favor of lighter armor options, but who knows? I’m up for anything 😉
  75. THE HYPE TRAIN HAS OFFICIALLY LEFT THE STRATOSPHERE, CHOO-CHOOOO
  76. I will probably stream this game until my fingers fall off.

 

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